When Does Being Single....Suck and Not Suck?

Hi Dolls!

So when I started thinking last week about how horribly I was doing at blogging, I asked myself "Why?"  And it came down to this simple answer.  I was comparing myself to so many others who are moms, or fashionistas, or great cooks, or entrepreneurs, blah blah blah.  Well, that's not my life.  I'm not married.  I'm not a mother.  I'm a great dresser (on most days) but fashion isn't my life.  I hate to cook.  I don't make anything nor do I care to do that.  But what am I good at?  I'm good at telling stories---about my friends, my family, my crazy dating life, my travels, and food (not that I make but the restaurants I go to lol).  And that's just what I'm going to do.  I'm going to look only in the mirror at what I know best and that's what I'm going to share.  Which means that you're likely going to be reading A LOT about my dating life and being single.  And that's just what I'm going to do today.  So sit back, relax, and if you're not single--thank your lucky stars.  Although today's post may leave you just a teensy bit jealous ;) 

The stigma on being single is far less than what it used to be but it's definitely not invisible.  The stigma on being single at 25 is WAAAAAAY different than the stigma on being single at almost 40.  Let me explain...when you're 25 you often get lots of support for being single--"don't settle", "focus on your career", "you have plenty of time", "have fun while you're young before you are tied down and have children", "be carefree", "love your alone time". 

When you're almost 40, it can go a little like this "he's still out there", "maybe you shouldn't be as picky", "don't settle but don't turn your nose up at someone you may not have considered before", "you're not THAT old", "there's still time but you may want to hurry" and my personal favorite because I hear this A LOT "so what's wrong with you?" 

First of all, there's nothing wrong with me.  And believe me, if I had the option of being single or not being single, I would definitely--with 100% certainty, be not single.  I want to be in a relationship with a man who I love and care for unconditionally.  I want someone that I can spend time with traveling or going to dinner or just hanging out on the couch.  I am trying to find that person.

 

So, let's get to it my lovely gal pals, when being single does suck or not suck? 

When does being single suck?



OK, so maybe a bit dramatic but...

• When you have to eat dinner alone more often than not.  This doesn't bother me too terribly much because I'm use to it with traveling as much as I do.  But when I'm home, I hate it.
• Knowing you don't have someone to take care of you when you die.  I know, morbid yes, but I think about this probably more than I should.  I start thinking about if I were to die, how long would it take for someone to notice I'm gone?  Again, morbid but these are real thoughts.
  
• When I want to be able to tell someone good news other than my sister or my besties. 
• Physical intimacy on the regular.  I'm not just talking about sex but affection, hugs, hand holding, kisses, etc.
• Seeing other people in relationships who act like they just don't like each other at all.  I mean for real Susan, if you don't like Bob then just end it.  I'm tired of hearing you complain about him.
• Feeling like I have to justify being single.  "Why are you single?"  "Why haven't you gotten married?"  Blah blah blah.
• Dating.  No explanation.  In my case, shopping for a mate. 

• 

When does being single NOT suck?

• You learn more about yourself. 
  
• More time to focus on you.
• Spend more time with friends.
• Feeling lonely takes on a whole new meaning.  And it's not a bad thing.
• When I'm hungry, I don't have to ask my partner or compromise on what I want to eat.
  
• I can use up as much space or as little space as I want in my King sized bed.
  
• When I'm having an off day and feeling bitchy and don't want to talk to anyone...I don't have to.
• I don't have to share blankets or pillows or a doughnut or my bowl of ice cream.  Or anything for that matter.
  
• I don't have to shave.
• I can do what I want to do when I want to do it.  Meaning I can make decisions on the fly: kind of like the eating bullet point but it applies to shopping, planning vacations, buying a car, you get the point.

OK girls, that's the long and short of it...or at least my take on it.  Being single definitely has its own advantages!  And if you are, I implore you to feel powerful about it and soak it up learning who you are and what you want!