Happy Monday!!! Anybody else feeling like this poor lad?!? And I'm also sporting a slight hangover so it makes it even worse.
I had a fantabulous weekend and hope all you gorgeous gals did as well! This past weekend was the last in Charlotte's restaurant week and my bestie Pamela and I hit up a place in uptown Charlotte that I'd only had cocktails at but never the grub. I'll be honest, the food and service paled in comparison to the company. I was disappointed, but c'est la vie, right? It happens. Hopefully it was just an off night for them but I think I'll be sticking with just drinking there from now on. I wrote some blog posts on Saturday morning, caught up on laundry and watched about a half dozen episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive---is it just me or do y'all feel much better about your clutter after watching this show? My sis and I had dinner Saturday and saw Phantom of the Opera and had a little sleepover. Have I mentioned lately that she's my favorite human ever? Oh and also, if you didn't see my IG pics over the weekend you have to check them out. We were on the very first row! Right behind the orchestra. It was unreal! I mean we were so close that I could hear the individual voices of the singers and see the Phantom up close and personal (and actually see him spitting when he was singing lol). And I absolutely love this dress--I ordered it on Target (otherwise known as my mecca) and this was the first chance I got to wear it. Love, love, love!
And Sunday we had breakfast, I met a girlfriend for lunch, pretty much laid around all afternoon and then I had a date! Which leads me to what I'll be writing about on le blog today. Valentine's Day, otherwise known as Singles Awareness Day is coming up and I've been dating long enough to know that the busiest time for online dating sites is typically right after Christmas, right after New Years and right around the devil made "holiday" of Valentine's Day. Totally kidding on the devil day, well sort of but even when I was in a relationship on Valentine's, it wasn't something I celebrated. It's a crock of ish. Anyways...back to my date on Sunday and dating in general. What if you could review guys like you do on Yelp?
But first, let me give you a little insight into my dating life--especially if you are new here. Because if you're not new here, believe me, nothing has changed. If I had to sum it up in one image, it would definitely be this.
All joking aside, this is exactly how I feel? I've seriously been dating since I was 14 and I'm not sure that I feel that I'm getting closer to finding "the one" than I was 20 years ago. But for the first time in a long time, I am more open to it and the possibility of finding him.
When I was 26, I was engaged. And then I wasn't. You see I called off my wedding about 3 months prior to the big affair. I won't go into all the details of it but I take complete responsibility for what happened. I accepted the proposal from a man who I had been with for over a year but that I knew I didn't love completely. I was at a point in my life where all my friends were getting married and having babies and I felt overwhelmed with pressure to get on the same path. I mean, I'm Southern---who wants to be 30 and not married? Well, as it got closer to time, we were fighting. A lot! And one day, the fighting reach its boiling point and in a fit of rage, he yelled out these words that changed my life..."What? Do you just not want to get married???" I'm sure that what happened next was not what he expected but I blurted out, without any hesitation, "No! I don't want to." And that was that...it was said. It was out there. No turning back! He was angry. He yelled. He called me nasty names. And I didn't blame him--not one little bit because I never should have accepted his proposal in the first place. But that was that--I mailed the ring back the next day and we never spoke again.
After that whole ordeal, I made a decision to focus 100% on the growth of my career. I moved to Maryland for a couple of years, then moved back to NC but my career became my life. I had a few short, meaningless relationships but nothing worth remembering. And then I woke up somewhere around 36 and was like, "shit, now what?" I'm 36, I've never been married, I don't have children. Where do I go from here? So I started getting serious about dating and meeting people, which led me to a couple of different dating sites because people just don't meet organically anymore and this was the new way to do things. And that led to a whole new string of more meaningless relationships and a whole lotta dates! Oy!
OK, so now that you are somewhat caught up on the single life of Jenny we can now move on to the point of this post. A few weeks ago, I saw an IG meme that was something along the lines of "don't you wish you could rate a date like trip advisor" and I was like YAAAAASSSSS! I would love to be able to do that. Even if it was only to warn other women of the asshats that I was finding. But in the spirit of not being a hypocrite, I thought it would only be fair to do a review on myself first. Obviously, this is a completely subjective view (kind of like if a bakery had personally asked me to review their place but also gave me a free donut--wink wink nod nod). So here goes...
Jenny, 39
Wow, this girl has it all--brains, beauty, booty! However, she can be slightly narcissistic, a little overbearing, not a great listener, doesn't forgive easily, holds grudges forever and swears a little bit too much for the sweet, Southern gal she claims to be. She talks about her friends, her sister and her dog incessantly (which can often make a guy seem like second fiddle in her life) but that also means that she has a strong caring nature about her and will take a bullet for you if you make it into her intensely small inner circle. She's quick to react to things--often times negatively and has a crazy non-emotional way of being able to move on (sometimes without letting the other person know). But she's funny---like crazy funny and sarcastic and is great with one liners. She can probably drink a grown man under the table. And deep down inside that not yet black heart of hers, she really does want to love...and be loved. She's confident and independent but hopes to find a man who will nurture and encourage her adventurous, loving spirit.
By the way, that last sentence is actually on my Bumble profile--written by my best friend Pamela...so it really is a review ;)
So you see where I'm going with this, right? Imagine if you were single and we had a review system like this. I'll be honest, I'm sure my review would not be as striking as it appears above if it were written by some of my former suitors. And I definitely don't proclaim to be the easiest person to date. As a matter of fact, I've actually told dates in the past that I'm not good at relationships. My girlfriends made me promise to stop doing that, which I have--sort of. But it is what it is.
With all that being said, I'm going to review the last few dates I've been on. And girls, believe me, I'm going to delve into this whole dating at almost 40 things a lot in the very near future. And I hope you love reading it as much as I am going to love sharing it. Oh and for you happily married gals, let this be a reminder of how lucky you are that you don't have to go through any of this anymore.
Dr. Drillgood (names have been changed for anonymity of course), 44
First, an explanation of the names. My friends and I always come up with nicknames for dates. In this case, Dr. Drillgood was a dentist (an obviously an homage to one of my favorite 80's hairbands). On paper, great guy! Local, dentist, divorced, older children, stable, handsome, good teeth (duh). But if I'm being honest, I'm being very generous with his score. Let me explain. On first dates, I only plan for drinks. This way it can be very quick if need be. I can throw back a Tito's on the rocks in less than 15 minutes if the date is not going well. But Dr. Drillgood and I met at a local bar near where I live. He was waiting for me at the door and greeted me with a Duggar hug (you know the sideways one). He wasn't as tall as what I expected him to be but wasn't bad looking. He apparently had planned to sit at a table because the hostess was ready for us with menus but I quickly stepped in and suggested to go to the bar. Now here's where it gets weird. There was no eye contact. None. I am not exaggerating. As a matter of fact, there was another guy (that I actually ended up having a drink with after my date) that made a point to say that he was uncomfortable just watching it all play out because of the lack of eye contact. It was the most unusual thing ever. And yes, very uncomfortable. There was plenty of conversation but again, no eye contact. In my mind, we were only there for a drink but he ended up ordering a whole dinner which made the already uncomfortable date worse because it just prolonged it. So I get it, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. He may not have been attracted to me. And that's ok. But I think he also was very socially awkward. Anywhoodle, the date ended with an even more awkward Duggar hug and we went our separate ways. The two stars are for the conversation before we met because he did seem pretty cool. We obviously haven't spoken since.
Make You Say "What" Matt, 42
This one is definitely one for the books. And how it ended was soooo not what expected.
Him: Hello Jennifer
Me: Hey, "Make You Say What Matt". Happy Friday!
Him: I'm not sure if I said-but I'm not looking for a long term relationship, but a cuckold one.
 |
| In the famous words of Zack Morris, "Time Out" |
Me: No you didn't mention that. At all. That's definitely not something I'm into but good luck in finding it.
Him: Crickets...
OK...so let me explain my star rating which may be different than what you might be thinking. If you've ever reviewed anything, you know that you can't give zero stars. With that, I am giving him half a star. But I'm not giving him a half star because of what he's into. I'm giving him a half star simply because he wasn't honest. It seems that everybody has something they are into--some more freaky and less socially acceptable than others. If he had told me in the beginning that that's what he was into (or even listed it on his profile), I wouldn't have wasted my time spending a couple of hours of my week getting to know him. Just be honest man! Why is it that hard?!?
So I can sum up this review simply with...
Bulletproof, 42
So this was my Sunday date. We met at another local wine bar near where I live. Side bar--I have so many fabulous bars, restaurants nearby that are great for date nights. And for me because I hate driving. But back to the regularly scheduled program. I was pleasantly surprised by this date. Bulletproof (he does PR for a company that makes body armor) and I had texted for about a week. As a matter of fact, he was the first guy I had reached out to on Bumble but due to him being out of town for work, we weren't able to go out right away. Divorced, 10 year old daughter, great smile and teeth, beard, and wonderful conversation. Everything flowed so easily and was super comfortable. We seemed to have a number of things in common and I only found myself annoyed with him at a few points in the date, which is so very rare for me. He was very attentive, complimentary (because what girl doesn't like to hear she's pretty). It was a great date that ended up with a tiny bit of PG face smushing and him asking me out for another date this week. He was totally worth 5 stars just based on the first date alone and the only reason I'm giving him a 4 is because nobody is perfect and he probably has a bag of toenail clippings in his closet. Long and short of this is that I'm being cautiously optimistic. It was fun. But my track record in dating hasn't been all that...well, let's just leave it at that. More to come on this later as it develops.
Well girls, that was fun. And to any single girls that happen to stumble on this blog and can totally relate, just remember this...
I plan on getting way more in depth as it regards to my dating life because that's what my girlfriends and I talk about and you fab gals are my girlfriends too. Plus they are such fun stories to tell. And I have so many of them...including a list that one of my besties and I have been working on the last couple years that describe all the guys we've ever dated...and it's a doozy (example: "Emotional Train Wreck Guy", "Glory Day Guy", "Never Gonna Happen, aka Bless Guy", "Barely Legal Guy". You get it...so much fun but so many more.
This is going to be a good blogging week y'all...make sure you come back to read more!
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